Come Along

~~A Change In Creativity ~~

Recently I've been given a few tips, on how to change my writing. Lmao
I was told that my writing was to.....dark... if you know what I mean...
well ,,,,some people that I know *cough* like my ideas but .... just not the fact that i keep on writing things that are to sad, Gothic and dreading. Which i agree with after i re-read what i write. lmao ... its kinda funny.
So on the other hand.. I'm not going to stop writing ... which is impossible...literally.. i cant stop writing..it's like my home away from home. If you know what that expression means. I write when ever I'm feeling anything .. lol
funny...eh? Cuz usually I'm feeling something...which means....
I "always" need a piece of paper with me and a pencil to write with.
Usually home is where I get mad and start writing. School? ... at school i just keep to myself and hide myself from anything new that's happening. Don't get me wrong i join in... I'm just ... not that "into" it.. i don't really care 'bout whats happening around me. I just need a good book and the teacher teaching. School "use to be" my favourite place... some where I always wanted to go to just get away from my parents and the problems at home. It doesn't always work though. You see, unlike myself others can see that problems follow you literally "everywhere". Where ever you go... there's gonna be something to bug you.
Hey.... i just remembered ... I'm not supposed to talk about depressing things... well .. kinda to late now .. eh?
well.. to bad ... I'm kinda into by now.
Like I've been saying... school .... isn't my favourite place anymore. I don't think people notice.. but whenever I smile .. which isn't a lot anymore... but when I do ... it's all fake.. none of it is real..well.. not most of 'em. But the majority of my smiles are fake. This is cause the "real" me doesn't come out anymore. It never does. And if anyone ever "really" knows me they'd know why..but in most cases they don't know me. No one does. I know people who say they do but if they did they'd do something and know exactly what to do...which they don't.. so... as in every tragedy.... nothing is solved and everything is just a big mess in the end which is not my ideal situation.
Wonder why..eh? why do I hide myself? Well .. its not really my story to tell.. well.. not "all" my story that is... i don't really wanna reveal anything here.. just in case anyone in the situation sees it..lol ... so "cli che " .. Lol..
You see, there's to many things to worry about these days so I don't wanna cause anymore problems and get people upset by acting all sad..all that does is make people wonder. And if you know the people i know wondering is just the same thing as gossiping and that in turn causes more problems which I have to be involved in.
Lately I've been hearing things about a "new" beginning and starting your life over....the social part of it anyway..... like going to a new school and finding new friends.... I say that's useless.. but people don't believe me ... maybe ..maybe not it's true .. but starting over .. just gives the people you knew a burden. If you move the people that love you, back in the place you were before, will act sad.. and actually feel it and show is.. physically. But I've been giving that a thought too. If I moved not many would care, or if you can excuse my language, give a crap. They wouldn't and I know it. If i left today and never came back tomorrow some people would ask where I am.. but I'm pretty sure in a couple of days it'll just die down and the news about me being gone would...be gone..=)
Boys,girls, teachers,parents, siblings.........that's to many issues for me to deal with... and no offence to any religious people.. but dying right now .. is probably a good idea.. but wait!!!!
Put down the phone ... 911 wont help.. I'm not about to commit suicide, im too smart for that.. lol
All im saying is.. if I was going to be in an accident I honestly wouldn't be in much emotional pain. Missing the people I would meiss is bad enough and a huge weight on my back. But to be truthful, and i've never said this before, but the people that I have issues with and the problem its self is getting to me..and if ending it off like that is the way to go.. then its ok .. and to be leaving the world at this exact point is what I want because right now the people and issues in my life (the bad part anyway )is over weighing happiness in all points of life.
Wow...I bet I'm gonna get a lot of complaints about this one... no doubt
But im ready for it... give me your hardest questions.... go head.

Complain away........

~~ A change In Creativity ~~