~~Complain to the unknown~~

*Sigh*.....Unlike my last blog. I'll tell you now, that this is not going to be happy. What so ever. Not a bit of happy light on the current situations being sheded. Maybe not to me, I don't know about the rest of you. But just to be hidden I'll talk in poetic language just so the people in the situation won't know. But if you know me well enough and have actually gone through this with me, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. But maybe you won't, cause like I said, not many people know what I'm going through, I mean you know the jest of it. But you don't know my perspective on the idea. That is mostly my fault, but its my decision, no one else's, so I guess everyone around me will have to deal.....right? *sigh* But once you don't let anyone into your heart, it just makes more problems and ..if you know my life...i dont really need anymore.
So...here goes. If you understand what I'm sayin leaving a comment..but...just don'y tell everyone else what the message is really about.

When the lights go dark and the rivers
dont seem to flow the way it did before
Nothing takes you back home
The home you loved to call home
The home you wished would stay forever
Turns out your wrong
Corners start to cave in
Lives start to go missing
Everything you ever knew .....
was gone

Lost in a world full of optimistics
Joy and wonder fill every corner there is to cross
Boarders between "happy" and "sad" are never crossed
........................
Until today
Happy was my side of life, once apon a time
Until grief swifted over me for a period
Once I crossed paths, I never returned
Didnt even want to turn my head to the other side
Another cry from me was let out
no one here to see or hear them
Nothing left to say
No one to cry too
Nothing to care for

Well ... let me just say .." Nothing to care for" ..
isn't true. I have many things to care for. ... family, friends, etc
Maybe it's just that.. i've never been " myself" if you can call it that for a long while.
"Me" has never come out in some time. When shes locked away in a corner like that, I personaly don't think she'll come out any time soon. I had this conversation with a friend once and it went along the lines of deep ---- and then ---sensitive. You see, that conversation really hit home for me. Not knowing that me and this person were friends...when she actually wanted the "real" me to come out. It felt natural.
I know that I'll get plenty of questions for the title ..so I'll go a head and say it now.
" Coomplain to the Unknown" actually represents "me" and my current status.
All though many have agreed to stick with me ... "to the end" ( so called....) I don't think there is an end. Good thing ..right?..Means that we're all gonna stay friends "forever" ( so called ...) Yes.... that is a good thing .. saying that i don't want to let go of the past and everything that was invovled in it. Including people. But saying "forever" hurts me..... Lately there has been a lot of things going on and one of them. believe it or not, has to do with a *cough cough* Other gender*cough cough*. Embarressing ..right?
Well ... I'm not going to say the whole deal ... but I'll just mention that it invovles not only me..but others... and others that have brought there way into it.
Well I'll just start off my saying that... nothing goes easy in a *cough cough* boy and girl*cough cough* situation .. espeically when there's others invovled.. but theres always one person that has everyone talking about it and someone to talk to ... perferably if they are open to talk about it .. and then .. there's someone like me ....
A person that doesn't like to talk about love-y dove-y stuff... and can admit she feels is .. but never says it aloud. Is that the problem you ask? ... Maybe ... Maybe not .. never know ,..,,, I never found out .. tell you once I do though... kinda curious myself ...
Well.. . like i was saying .. there's one person that can have a speical other person there to help them.... but me.... I dont... People say they "can" talk to me.. and they "would" if I would talk to them.. but I think that's going to happen any time soon...
Complaing to the unknown really actually stands for talking it out to myself .. as for now.. i call myself the "unknown" ..( flash back---uninvited movie trailer..OOHHH .,,, SCArey.. lmao) but still ... as in like any other situation .. I dont have anyone to talk to ,,,, maybe not just friends.. but ..... .. I try to talk it out with my self
..Now don't go thining the wrong thing .. i dont sit in my bed alone at night and then start talking out of no where .. like a total goon.. but ..... as far as thoughts goes .. my head
... is always occupied ...

~~ Complain to the Unknown~~