The Speical Way Things Run

Dialog
Open line: Narrator- speaking of a Teenage Life

"She continues her life on the road she built, trying to consider all possible out comes of every situation coming her way. She strives to determine all the possibilities of a person and all the faces they have behind the one mask they have on. Then some one comes her way, lets her be herself and not hold up that shield she's been hanging on to for most of her delicate life. The surroundings around her are all of a sudden open and widened for more surprises to come through. Open roads continue to be opened, and only then does she really realize that life is an open journey. You have to know when to open the door, but also know when to close it and open it again at times. But then again. If you need to keep it shut, you have the right to do that to. You just have to learn when and how to do so."

Dialog
Open line: Narrator#2 - Speaking about love

"After the first fall of ones life, they usually don't know how to get back up. Having to keep trying to pick yourself up one usually gets tired of the fact that no one is here to surrender or commit theirselves to helping you. Time just makes things get older and seems as though things never change. But at times people just come to another conclusion before looking at both sides. But when your in this word people call 'love' there's no getting out. Your stuck. Life keeps you trapped inside what seems as though this clastrophobic box that keeps getting smaller and at one point, the point we call the climax, it all feels as though it's going to just shrink so small, that you'll have no more room to move. This feeling isn't easy to get out of. This feeling doesn't go away as a simple old cold or cough one has during the cold times. This feeling. As the world may call it. Is the lords worst creation. Love. Maybe a good and powerfull thing. But as much as it is good to feel something as strong and free willing as this sometimes it's best to feel nothing at all. Love comes from all aspects and nothing stands in its way of breaking free. Expect the wall we put in front of it ourselves. This wall we say. We call it the breaking point. The very top of the wall is where it starts to crack and everything just seems to break through. Those feelings come to mind and soul. Once it's there. My friend there's no getting out at that point. This feeling spreads. The feeling spreads even faster than viruses can go into you. It catches you when you want to fall. It rises with you when your at the bottom, and slowly climbing up. Trends start to occur in your mind and those trends start to show in your shy actions. This slowly starts to develop into something more and then at one point.....that wall you see is no longer there and all those feelings you were hiding from are quickly seeping in. Covering all the spots you wish were empty. Filling all those wounds you wanted to repair yourself. But to your surprise you like the feeling of being helped and cared for. You enjoy having the feeling of someone always there before you take your next step, always by your side even if you don't know it , Love is a powerful thing that doesn't go away quickly if you want it to. Nothing seems to stop it from going into everything you've been hiding from the rest of the unknowlegdeable world. Center yourself. Find the one you want to see. Love doesn't come easy. But it sure makes a 'heck' of a world"

I Wish I Had A Part of The Past

~~Voices Change Themselves..Then Hide~~

Things change..and then never come back to what they were before. Well, when you really care, transparent words start to repeat themselves in the emptyness you had in your head and fill those empty spots in. The words run wildly in thin air and begin to imagine what it really would have been like.. in reality.

Friend - Someone that you can count on. A trust that doesn't loose itself.. in a matter of time. Long or short, two or more people can run through any storm. Compress pass any hurrican. Glide through the tears..and most importantly help each other through anything. Strong... or weak.

Friendship - The Unbreakable bond of a friend. Sometimes things don't work well.. but.. that's what life is about. You get closer to someone.. then you go separate ways. But that makes you stronger when you come back.

So... what happens when you can't come back ? Things don't go back to normal.. and ... this time.. It's not just "you" in the way. It's someone you care about.

I'm tired of getting so (emotionally) close to someone and having then either leave... or just forget about me. Then they come back. Or still wanna be there. Not there.(emotionally) but physically...
What am i supposted to do about that?
The only thing that distracts me are the people that actually have joy in them. But as much as i try to smile. Those fake ones come back..and i thought the real me was coming back out.. for once.. she's pushed back in.
Everywhere I go.. i try to hold back tears, and everytime I try... and see a person happy with out me.....I just burst. I can't hold it in anymore.
The "me" that I knew. that has just come back out .. for a while.. just ... goes back in..and this time... for good.

~~ Voices Change Themselves.Then Hide~~

Tired And Hopeless In A World

~~ To tired To fight For those Who don't Care~~

You know that feeling you get sometimes when you can't have someone there, but then sometimes that alone hurts even more. Keeping anything there is useless to me. Rivers don't spand as much as you wish it would, bridges don't build themselves they need help to get across and be what they need to be. But what happens when no ones there to help? No one is willing to be there for you..So, what do you do in this scenario. Things change and then you just lay there.Dead.Fallen apart. Torn and separated. How do you repair yourself? Really? How does anything work anymore......
When you love someone, in any way, and they want to drift apart, if they want to leave....let them. If you care about them.. let them take their own path.. and be who they want to be in the mean time... you just have to find your own. And separate for a while. As painful as it can be. If you truly love the other person. Let them go. That's a sign of love. If you care...and honestly care. Just let go and ..........I guess ... if you can watch over them. Make sure if they want to come back. Take them in with more than open arms.

I'm tired of trying to get some where with people.. but have them turn on everything else out there. Not open themselves to all the other opportunities in front of them, Which I'm holding them back on. So, as much as I love all of the people I'm around and all the people that I'm invovled with, I don't know. I just wanna stop everything. Nothing's bound to last, in the place I'm in.
I just wanna stop everything now... and save myself from everything that's gonna happen in the future, that's gonna hurt me.
So, if I was gonna give myself, or anyone else, some advice it would be ... to always count on yourself.For anything. Nothing comes up to what you believe, nothing settles for any longer than a while.

The second title just explains itself. No need to explain.

~~Too tired to Fight for Those who Don't care~~

Save me

~~ Save me from the nothing I've become~~
- Evanescence

Trapped in an extremely small room.Did you put me here?
Help doesn't come, only looks at me and runs away.
- me

Scary..eh?
Lol.. I'm back to being my normal gloomy self.*sigh*
Isn't that a surprise? I'm honestly wondering only one thing right now.
If the people I'm around care about me, or even know me for that fact.
Wait..isn't that two things?
Well.. never mind that. ... But I'm just thinking that no one else really gets me other than my 3 other family members.They actually know when I'm not myself..while the others are just around me... and I have to wonder and sit there trying to wait to see if they get it. That I'm not really there. I'm there..physically, but not spiritually or emotionally. Erg... doesn't seen like I've been babbling about the same thing for about a week now? .. So how come no one gets it?
Even in school... no one can see that I'm faking a smile, or trying to force myself to talk happy without my family there with me. Funny thing is, the people that I'm around almost everyday, every second of the day, doesn't know me and .. surprisingly .. I think I spend more time with them than with my family, and they don't know me as well as I thought they should.
Crazy enough, the family doesn't have any problems with each other. Not that we ever did. But if this family were to screw up.. or some one were to come along the way and mess everything up... I think I'd go ballistic.
Sometimes I just wanna scream it out to people, and see if they get it then. But they don't. Even if I did people wouldn't get it, and it might seen that I'm really dependent on my family right now. And ya.... yes I am. Is there anything wrong with that? Lol...... great..I seem mad now.. don't I?
Well, in a way I kinda am.
People don't see it, and I literally scream it out at some times, and "still"they don't see it. ...
Well.. lets just see the next time I got for a fake smile...
Lets see who can bet the Quad.
I wanna see who can tell that I'm faking.

Btw--- Does anyone know why I choose those exact lyrics from the song from Evanescence?
Tell me the next time you see me! =)

....Cries doesn't help none

~~ safe is just a state of mind~~

When you think they all know
they rise against you.
When you feel the safest
fire attacks, and your down again.
When everyone says they care
they turn on you.
When hate comes to rule all....
love doesn't strike back.......
Maybe I'm just being foolish, but do you really know me?
You think you can read me like an open book
you say you know what's meant to be.
The walls are silent like broken corners
the seals are no more, the cracks are leaking
everything is breaking.
My boarder.
Justice can't stand.
Karma suddenly falls back.
The once open blue sky, of white clouds
turns pitch black.
They say they know who you are
but do they really?
When you cry they stand back and
they wonder maybe.
Jokes don't come as jokes.
Surprises don't surprise you
because you've learned alot
from all that you've been through.
So each lesson learned has a new moral to reveal
You just have to know when to close it,
and seal.

Well....Here goes

Romeo and Juliet
Maybe it didn't happen today, or the day before
Skys pasts the moon and by then
I realize that I love you more
You wipe up my tears
and drown me in your happiness
Smiles across your face
You sweep me off my feet and
seal it with a kiss
Today is a new day
and I can't wait for tomorrow
Because I know that
if I see you you'll take
back all the sorrow

Happy Blog?????? =)

~ A change in Creativity #2~
Lol, this is my second ATTEMPED at being happy for one in a blog. Lol......
This will be funny. Many other people have told me the same thing...*cough cough*MOYASHI*cough cough* and others. But.. I'm almost 100 percent sure that imma be writing about something emo-ish.
Well the first thing I wanna tell you about is my family....no... not that family at home.. cause I just don't like that one... but the family we have at school.
Dont think we're lonely.. cause ...well... actually some of us are...*cough cough* Daniel*cough cough* LMAO... just kidding.. But ya.... My family of school is THE best!!!! =)
Ok ... let me just write...er...type out ALL of my families at school for you.
Family #1
Shazia ( Fyi..,.I'm kinda scared for this family )
Nafisa
Ayesha
Family #2
Tamyka
Shanicka
Kelly
Shazia
Klinton ( Z retard .. HEHEHE)
Family # 3 ( one of my personal favourites)
Annie
Moyashi (Melanie)
Daniel Miranda ( This family is fricken FUNNY/Weird/Retarded/ Crazy/Helpful
So ... DO NOT....DO NOT!!! ... HATE ON US......
WE WILL GO NUTS (LOUD DRUM BANG) ON YOU IF YOU DO=))
TEEHEE !!! =)

As you can see, family #3 is the one of the smallest... But I think it's what I like/love about it.
We get along just fine... we don't fight or bicker at anytime.... Which makes all of us happy=) This family is permanent and will ALWAYS be. Most of our families are being separated but this one is the only one that I think will stay for as long as we keep it... and honestly we ALL wanna keep it as it is..and stay together for as long as we can. Family 3 is one that was just made,,,, but they were all there for me since .....since....a while. Lol.. i can't really remember how long.. but for as long as I can remember we all got along. Daniel, Moyashi and I have known each other since grade 1 and hopefully will know each other until...until... as long as we can.. But Annie is one year older than us, but as for her....the sad thing is she's moving to H.S this year.... Boo
We're gonna miss ya ANN!!!!! Next year is gonna be terrible without the Quad as a FULL Quad...:(
Well...... you might think we're such a happy happy family ...
But ...sadly... no ...
The QUAD .....(loud drumming sounds)
" DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!"
THE QUAD HAS HATERS !!!
YAY !!! Lol ...
As a happy family we are... on Friday, May 8. 2009 (Wth the date it sounds like one of those cop shows.. Lmao) The whole quad family hung out... and then that started a whole lot of hate..
Who knew spending lunch recess with a few people.. like.. only once... will start alot of drama..
Well.. now.. a few of the girls are ignoring me.. and acting like a (excuse my language) botch.Reoplace the "o" with a "i" Lmao.......
But ya... some of em ... *cough cough* walk away from me... and some don't talk to me...others take "the" nicest approach.. and yell at me.. Lol ..
" JENNY!!!! YOU ARE STUPID!!"
"I didn't see you this recess....why is that? ..."( looks at the family)
That's usually what they say.
But as the nice famly we are... we stick up for each other. So one of my family members got mad at some of the people that were making me mad... .but ya.. she got mad more than I did,, Lmao
Love ya Moyashi and Ann!! ... and Danny ..(I had to say that.. or he'll kill me...)
Family #1 has currently been on a bumpy road...
As for information I can't say on the net... we have ALOT of issues to deal with right now....
I'm not so sure if we can go through most of em though..we'll just see ...
Family #2 ...
Lol.. I dont even know how this one started out...some of the people in there use to HATE me and now..we're in the same family ... Lol
Funny ..eh? Lol...
I wanna see how this family will be like after a couple more weeks.. funny thing is ... family 2 has started waaayyy before family 3 and family 3 is the one im closest to..right now...
Of course family 1 is very close to me.. but....we're not ALL close with each other
Lol

YAY !!!!
I made it through one happy blog without ... saying,,,many things...
that were emo..Lmao
YAY!! You people happy ?? Lmao
But im pretty sure ..after a while.. ill be back to my normal emo self!!
Well.. i hope you people enjoyed looking at my families!! Lol
Byezz